Finding perfection in imperfection thanks to internet a-holes.

If you read this blog on a slightly regular basis, really if you've read this blog once- it's pretty clear that I have a Facebook "Fan" Page (and yes, I hate that word)- hell, it's screaming at you from the left sidebar right now.

I started the page a little under a year ago to help promote this blog, and the book, and to have a place to put the random shit that goes on in my brain that doesn't quite fit anywhere else, but in my humble opinion is still funny enough to be snorted at by someone OTHER than me.
Basically the page is whatever I want, whenever I want- and with the whatever and whenever can come people who don't always agree.
That is absolutely nothing new. I had people who thought that my opinion was the exact opposite of funny and therefore I was a product of the DEBIL HIMSELF and should have NEVER HAD KIDS since long before I ever created a Facebook page. I even dedicated a part of my book to that mess.

So when trolls came-a-trollin' my shiny new page, I didn't find myself all that surprised. The internet is a vast and wide place full of people with completely differing opinions, some who are respectful of others, and some who choose to disrespect everyone and everything that happens to not be the way they see it, and the need to do it loudly. Those are always fun people to deal with!

As a general rule, after everything i've been through, when it comes to assholes, douchebags, and condescending bitches on the internet- I ignore. And on my page? I ban them. No patience for that bullshit- we all have enough going on, what with having to take care of our children and our bills and every other little stress that gets tossed our way once we attempt to become productive members of society, why waste time on idiots? Occasionally one gets away from me, but for the most part I like to think it is a drama free zone.

Still, having a page with a decent number of people following it, and you become exposed to all different kinds of people.
Personally- if your child is happy and healthy and not impeding on the health and happiness of mine for extended periods of time- I could not give two shits less what you do. Not my business, not my place, and i'm not you. End of story.
Other people, a LOT of other people, do not see things that way. And that is when we come to a picture and a message I feel should be addressed, because it pisses me the fuck off. People piss me the fuck off.

Now, personally... I thought it was hilarious.

Obviously it's staged, it isn't even in a supermarket. It's in a craft store- and how, pray tell, would anyone capture an image like this of a mom dealing with rambunctious kids without getting their camera smashed?
But that's beside the point. The point is that I posted this without a second though, because I laughed. The message of this photo, to me, was not that her kids are "out of control"- but that sometimes you need a break even if that means just going to the STORE by yourself. What is exciting about the store? Nothing is exciting about the store. But the store, WITHOUT KIDS, seems like a damn vacation when you've been dealing with them nonstop.

This image went viral. For over 24 hours I dealt with the landslide of comments I got because of this photo. And some of them disturbed me enough to where I felt like I needed to write a blog about it.

This is why people shouldn't have so many kids

Well if you'd discipline your kids, this would never happen

She should have closed her legs after 2!

My kids would NEVER do this! They know better!

MY KIDS NEVER MISBEHAVE IN STORES! I TAUGHT THEM RIGHT!

It just went on and on and ON. Criticisms and hatefulness toward the mother in this picture, other peoples parenting styles (or according to the comments, lack thereof), other people commenting. Just really ugly shit. In under 24 hours I banned more people and hid more comments than I have in the entire year i've had the page. Yes, it was that bad.

Not much pisses me off to the point of having to blog about it (I like to stick with the funny)- but this did.

Let's just take a step fucking back- Judgy McJudgersons, shall we?

What, exactly, is the RIGHT way to parent? And if this picture were real, what the fuck gives YOU the right to tell her she's doing anything wrong? Is she hauling off and beating her children senseless in public (some people did suggest that was the correct way to respond to this)? No? She just has unruly kids... 

AND?!

WHAT IS YOUR POINT?

What if she was just having an off day? What, you've never had one? One where your kid/s is/are just going balls to the wall absolutely batshit crazy and nothing you do can calm them down? A day where they are monsters and you HAVE to go to the store or you'll all starve and the only option is to take them regardless of how misbehaved? Why jump to conclusions immediately based on ONE picture, based on one isolated incident? Not EVERY parent with a misbehaved kid, or every kid with an angry parent is an awful combination destined to destruct.

You're telling me that your child is well behaved ALL THE TIME and NEVER acts out? EVER? No public tantrums, no back-talk, no whining or crying or stomping of the feet?

Bullshit. Either bullshit or your kid is so terrified of you that they are subservient. 

Here's the reality, MY reality, whether you agree or not:

HOW can you expect children to be perfectly behaved? They are KIDS! They are learning and growing and feeling emotions they don't understand and dealing with problems they haven't learned how to deal with. They are tired, hungry, cranky- and unlike an adult, they don't know how to cope. They have to be taught. And who is there to teach them? US. But why FORCE that on them so hard? WHY?

Kids should be allowed to be KIDS! It doesn't matter how well behaved, perfect, quiet, reserved, amazing, smart, disciplined they are- they ALL have bad days. Every single one of them. It doesn't matter how AWESOME of a parent you are, or if you think you are doing absolutely EVERYTHING right, there are going to be days where nothing goes that way. Period. It happens. To ALL of us. Why is that so frowned upon?

Yes, discipline them. OF COURSE. Teach them good manners. Teach them to be respectful, loving, caring, compassionate. Abso-fucking-lutely. But do not EXPECT them to be ALL of these things ALL the time. Why? I'll say it again- THEY ARE KIDS. They need TIME, experience, nurturing, understanding. They're going to have off days, they might even have an off YEAR- but if we don't let them learn from their mistakes, and instead force them to be perfect little robot children- then how in the hell will they ever have FUN and GROW into amazing people able to make their own decisions and show compassion and caring and understanding for their children when the time comes? Do we really want to teach the future generation to talk DOWN to other people like they are stupid pieces of shit? Is that the kind of people we want our children to be, instead of the kind that will support and lift someone else up even if they don't necessarily agree?

Isn't childhood supposed to be about having FUN? Don't you look back at your childhood and remember doing stupid shit like spinning in circles until you puked, running around and screaming like a crazy person just because you could, splashing in mud puddles? 

If you don't have those memories of a carefree fun childhood, I feel sorry for you. Honestly, I do, because those memories, and the fact that my mother encouraged me to express myself- but still put my ass in its place when I fucked up TOO badly (even though at times I did not listen) shaped the person I am today. 

There is loose, and completely out of control. There is punishing, and being COMPLETELY overbearing. 

Just because you see a kid acting like a complete asshole in the store- that doesn't tell you the entire story. That doesn't make the parent a "BAD MOM!" 

Do you know this woman? Have you met her? Have you been around her on multiple occasions and seen how her child acts every moment of every day? No??

THEN SHUT THE FUCK UP. Who asked you?

You have no room to talk. No place to judge or say anything- and that isolated incident does NOT make you a "better" parent than her, and it doesn't mean that she is raising the future inmates of America. 

This is another case of the "Perfect Parent"- who is so much better than everyone else in every way shape and form and if you don't do things exactly the way they do- you suck at life and are not fit to raise children,and i'm honestly just sick of it. Take care of your OWN kids like you claim you are doing nonstop and all that helicoptering has resulted in the perfect offspring, and stop wasting all this time you claim you don't have shitting on everyone else. 

If you have the need to be a hateful, condescending, judgmental twatburger- do everyone a favor and keep it to yourself. Parenting is hard enough without adding a load of bullshit to the top of the tower.

What in the hell is so wrong with being IMPERFECT? I mean, really? If we were all the perfect parents with the perfect children... where would the beauty that is being unique be? What would attract us to each other if we were all exactly the same? What would make us special? Nothing. Why would I want that? I don't.

I'll be the first to admit it- my kids aren't perfect...because they are KIDS; and I allow them to be that- tempter tantrums, back-sass, whining and all. And I love them for it, for ALL of it, even the bad annoying obnoxious shit I wish they wouldn't do. It's not a lack of parenting, it's kids being kids.

They aren't perfect, and neither am I... and I just think there's something perfect about that imperfection and the ability to embrace it.